bippidy boppidy boo

the other night a few friends were talking about the many times we would like to cast a spell on certain people. usually, this is reserved for frustrating experiences for which we wish we had a solution, way out, or recompense but in reality do not. do you have situations that you wish you could solve with a bippidy boppidy boo?

watch out for foreigners on the roads

okay…so, yesterday as i’m coming home from work, I pull up to a heavily trafficked intersection and notice a car that has pulled up way past the line and is motionless in the center of the intersection. I look through the windshield to notice a foreign looking guy and I think “must be an exchange student who obviously doesn’t know the rules.”

Just then my light changes and I hesitate… not knowing whether I should deliberately drive around the car in the middle of the intersection or just wait. After realizing that the foreigner is also hesitating, I just go for it as his car suddenly pulls forward and then slams on its brakes to avoid hitting me. I finally get through the intersection still unaware of what will happen to that guy stuck in the middle.

A minute later my cell rings and it is Bradford Gibson. As soon as I answer, I hear “my apologies” …you guessed it. Maybe Brad is extra tan these days. Needless to say…watch out for those foreigners.

hello america

Yes, as many of you know, a couple of our friends said hello to millions of americans tonight…Kris Allen and Cale Mills (that was not your mind playing tricks on you). We have been long awaiting Kris’ debut. And although I disagreed with the show’s editors who decided to show only one line from his song, we all could clearly see the reason he is Hollywood bound in that small beautiful blurb. Wow…hundreds of thousands and he made it…Please join me in following this once in a lifetime experience. (Oh—and although Cale’s attempts to join Kris in Hollywood failed, he did manage to get his picturesque face on the show accompanied by his guitar and large pillow while walking into the sunset. How perfect). Thank God for DVR!!!!

sorry becca

Well, enough of the dark “goth-looking” blog site. This new look makes me breathe a little easier. What do you think?

***I’m fully prepared that my black-fingernail-painting, animé loving, spencers wearing friends may disapprove… sorry becca.

small talk shmall talk

I have a gift of awkwardness. I used to deny it. I thought I was really good at making friends several years ago. But, I had a few years of honest people telling me how bad I am at making people feel comfortable at first, so I have come to accept this flaw in me. I think its the conversations that have to be had before you get to talk about the things that you really want to know about someone that I dread and don’t want to bother with.

So for a while, I gave up on developing any new friendships and decided that if I died only knowing the people that I currently knew, that would be fine with me. To anyone who knows me, this small group of amigos I have are known as my bridesmaids. 9 in all. They are the ones that really know me…and we have together forged through the barrier of awkwardness into the beautiful land of commonality, appreciation, and inside jokes.

However, as of late, I have had a change of mind. I have decided to have another go at this thing called “small talk” that is apparently not so small. It is the second test any stranger is put to. It is where you pronouce your early judgements. “She’s nice…he was rude…she’s a talker…why is he so into himself…she must not like me very much.”

And–you guessed it–I fail these tests over and over. I am not a sweety-pie. I am not a giggler. I was never considered for miss congeneality. I can’t bring myself to laugh at bad jokes. I say things that most would only think. I can be oblivious to sensitivity.

But I have made the decision that though I am terrible at first “dates,” I will schedule them nonetheless. I will not be limited by my handicapp. I will just keep failing until I become good at this or I may miss a person worth knowing.

So, if you see me caught in that forced smile with a blank look on my face…give me an “A” for effort.

thanks walmart

Well…I have decided that blogging is the luxury of free time or sleepless nights. So, I may never be the blogger that many of you are simply b/c writing about myself falls low on my priority list when I have several projects on the table.

I will say that once again Walmart gave me a memorable experience. Apparently WM is cracking down on underage drug use and has now employed policies of carding customers attempting to buy items popularly used as illegal inhalants, such as spray paint.

So as I hurriedly waltz up to the “express” lane with my 4 cans of spray paint, drop cloths, and curly willow (for wedding decor) I get asked for ID.

I look at 50 yrd old “Mona” and say “What?” She says “You’re buying paint” and then turns her screen around into my line of sight as I read the words “IS CUST OVER 18YRS? Y/N” I say “Yes I am almost 30.” She helpfully replies “I need legal proof.” I remember that my license is in the car where it always is (half a 102° parking lot away) and I glare at Mona and wonder if she somehow feels some amount of satisfaction at making my life annoyingly difficult so that she can be assured that she did her part to reduce teen-drug use.

But can we please look at the facts: I am a 6ft tall curvy woman with a low voice, strong personality and (on that day) matching stylish but modest clothes. Sound like most 18yr olds to you?

After I retrieve my license and wipe the sweat from my brow, I am pleased to see that 5 more customers had found the same “express” lane as I get back in line behind them. A.J. Sawatsky happens to get in line behind me and I ask him at what age he thinks i will no longer be carded? Mona butts in and says “maybe when you look 40 or if you were fatter maybe.” Then as I hand her my license she says “your license is expired…i’m going to have to call my supervisor.” At this point I had had enough (b/c she was still impeding my buying of spray paint, she obviously had little use for logic, and b/c i had just found out that my license was expired). In a voice betraying my strong annoyance I say “I assure you that the day my license expired I did not get any younger.”

The supervisor then comes to check my ID and re-informs me that my license is in fact expired. I tell her that I just found that out and that the reason she was called over was to prove whether I was of 18 yrs of age. She then does finally pronounce that I am over 18 and may be allowed to purchase the spray paint.

I then grab my paint, run out of the doors, and push the igniter of the bomb I placed under Mona’s register and laugh as the store blows into a flame ball. Thanks Walmart.

what can wash away my

I made a small discovery today. Water, with the right amount of force, can actually sand concrete, cut wood, remove skin..etc. i know we see things like this on the weather channel when they run the “amazing tsunami” or “death by tornado” specials. But today I used, for the very first time, a pressure washer,  A.K.A. “automatic water rifle.”  I was enamored (for the first hour only) that I could stand on the ground and carve lines of clean space through our dirty second story roof overhang at least 25 feet off the ground. And when I got too close to the wall, the stream would cut a line through the paint and make the cedar splinter…and that was what happened when used on wood. So in the event of a sudden break-in, I now have one more weapon to add to my arsenal, if it should ever come to that.

back to work

Well, yesterday we started the new work week with the typical series of Monday meetings and I realized the damage of staying up late all last week. I came home last night around 5:30 and passed out on my bed until 8:30. Who takes a nap at night?

I will say I enjoyed yesterday’s meetings as I got to once again observe Rick and the other pastors’ communication styles and amazing comments. I do find it intriguing how Brandon and I will laugh in the mtgs at the same things while everyone else stays blank-faced (with the exception of Darrel who slightly grins and then buries his head in his Mac to go unnoticed).

taking some time

I get a few days off this week, which I am stoked about. Brandon and I visited Garvan’s Gardens in Hot Springs yesterday. What an incredible place! You just walk for miles on stone paths through tulips, bonsai trees, daffodills, roses, bridges with springs flowing beneath, and waterfalls. It is my fantasy backyard. Great place for a photography trip…Matt. I love being able to go somewhere new, detach from the world, and hear the quiet again.

oldpeoplearefunny

even if it is staged, it was worth it…